You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My life is pants optional.
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