what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
