This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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