I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
