Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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