this beer tastes like vomit already
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
