being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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