Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
