I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
