i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
