He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
