You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
