Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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