I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The ass gains better be worth it
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