just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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