she woke up with a sticky ear
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
