Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think im going to throw up on grandma
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
