so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
