After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
