You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
