I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
