I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
