I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
