I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
PANTIES FOUND
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
