Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize
