Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
