I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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