If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize