I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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