I want to stick my p in your. b.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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