I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
smell my finger.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
