Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am midnight drunk by noon
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
