Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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