Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
did you just send me my own nude
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
