every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
