Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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