So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
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People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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