dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
