can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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