so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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