My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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