I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
