I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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