I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
