I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
