Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
