Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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