you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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