come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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