is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
