i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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