When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
