dude i'm inner monologue high
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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