I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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