this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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