You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
