I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
