Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
